hoping

I never did stare at the sky..

irony is I never could find the time

the warm sun would be ignored..

so would the shining moon..

someone said just give it glance..

and be washed in the beauty..

for the moment be lost..

in something that doesn't make sense..

since then sky is not the same..

so much that even clouds talk back..

does bring back fleeting memories..

of the time of being a kid..

counting the stars claiming to own a star..

hoping .. for something.. and still hoping..

emotional fool

girl: I can't believe it, you could not find time to meet me, in spite of we working nearby.
guy: I don't know what to say.
girl: you could not spare time even for a cup of coffee
guy: its not like I did not have time. Its just that going out of the way to do something I don't do.. I ...
girl: we are not strangers, are we?..
guy: no! . its just that  .. uhh.. I am sorry..
girl: sorry! yeah .. right...

guy: (lost in his thoughts)
{how can I tell her that since she got engaged, I have been trying to avoid her. She is somebody else's now. How can I even be friends with her. I feel sad. .... feel like a loser .. loser who did not get love but also lost a friend..   ..  Wait ! I shouldn't feel sad. How much effort did she take to meet me? How many times did she even bother to call or text me? I mean!! shit !! why didn't I propose to her earlier .. shit shit shit !}

girl: hey! what happened? don't think too much about it..

boy: no! yeah!, at least we are here now...meeting finally
(again his mind wanders!)
{but it isn't the same, anyway, I am sure , he is perfect for her, something I could never be. I always knew she was too much for me. No, I mean we are too similar in our likes, but then don't they say, opposites attract..arrrgh! i am such a ..}

girl: yeah, it feels good..
boy: by the way, how is he? is he still working at...
girl: (she interrupts) didn't I tell you? we broke up !
boy: .................


---------------------------------------------------
p.s. another attempt at narrative fiction, still working on it..  Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Mistake

                                                

This is what is referred to as the “Double Bill”. Not in exact terms. But using the theme of mistakes, I have portrayed two distinct thought processes revolving around a similar premise. Ok! I will stop fooling around with words. Just read them.


 “Mistake” Vol. 1  : -

                                                       

Even after a long time

I still feel  regret

Still feel "what if"

friends say it’s called insecurity

I still don’t know what it means

just like i didn't know back then

All the time that I had you near

It wasn't even one of my fear

It should have been crystal clear

as you now feel dear to me

Should have called you when you needed a talk

Should have walked when you needed a walk

Should have been where you were

waiting and waiting with no sign of me

shouldn't have left you stranded

or ditching you at last moment

But I didn't see it through

Had no knowledge of feelings being true

Should have showed that I did care

of course I am now just too scared

afraid to accept that you are gone

become somebody else's soul mate

I still wait not for you to be back

But for time to heal me through

And I hope I don't repeat

the mistakes that I still rue

even after all this time

as I lie here in my dying time

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Mistake” Vol.2: - 

free me now

   from the love

                 that I felt

                                by mistake

I didn't mean

  to feel love

                that I felt

               by mistake

I didn't know

   that by knowing you

                It would feel

                       like a mistake

Because you don't

   feel love

                the way I do

                                Is it my mistake?

Withdrawal Symptoms

Yeah I am showing withdrawal symptoms due to 5 day long vacation from work. Getting back to work after a break of 5 days is not an easy task. Alarms, schedules and routine have to be reset again. Usually 3 day break is enough for me to face this problem, adding 2 more days is always going to complicate things.
I have been careless with my health these last few days or should I say weeks, eating junk food, late night movies, fizz drinks, no workouts, etc. So I need to fix up that part of routine too. Oh no! its not part of any new year resolution. I can't wait for two more months and let things deteriorate further.
..........................
My mind just went blank. I don't know what else to type. It happens sometimes. When I have lots of thoughts but by the time I am ready to write/type them they hide themselves. Its like Anil Kapoor from Mr. India, and looking through red colored glass doesn't help.
Winter is sure to mark its arrival soon, and I hope it chills a bit more than usual. Even though I am not a fan of cold climates, I love change. And since it has been raining crazily in monsoon, I hope it cools well enough in winter. So that I can go on a nice bike trip or a trek to Torna Fort.
Yeah! Torna fort! plans have been made to go to this fort for more than 2-3 years, but never have these plans been put to action. One of my dear friends has said she wants to go for a trek, somethings I promised her many year back. But Torna fort is not for beginners. So I am still thinking which would be a easier trek to go for. Will post about it when I decide.
..........................
RaOne (I know, but not jokes please) and InTime are movies to watch out for coming weekend.
..........................
Arsenal had a terrible start to the season so far, but we are recovering and proving recovery by beating the cunts from stamford bridge 5-3.
..........................
First every Formula One Grand Prix at Buddh International Circuit was superb. S. Vettel is currently class apart. Lewis Hamilton is crazy and imperfect driver but always eventful. Force India could do better.
..........................
Have been listening to some Indian bands recently. "The Echoes", "Skinny Alley" and "Menwhopause". Will post reviews as soon as I can.
..........................
Well I hope that's all for now. More, soon than later

One more tag post

One more tag post.
1. Do you have any favorite movies? If so, then which ones?
uhh.. lots of movies in this list. Almost of all genres. I love movies. Lets talk in terms of 2011 releases. Super 8, Kung Fu Panda 2, Xmen First Class, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Cars 2, Source Code, The fighter, Unknown, Adjustment Bureau.... and many more.. see I told you, list for a year itself is endless. 


2. Favorite actors/actresses? Is there any specific reason to why these are your favorites?
This isn't easier than the previous. But current favorite for 2011 among actors are Cristian Bale, closely followed by Jake Gyllenhaal, Matt Damon, James McAvoy, Alan Rickman and Kevin Bacon.
Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Uma Thurman, Sandra Bullock, Ellen Page, Emma Watson, Julia Roberts, and Meryl Streep round up the all time favorite actress list. 


3. Which TV-series do you follow?
None currently, but I did follow Dexter, Big Bang Theory, White Collar, Burn Notice, How I met your mother, and Kekkaishi. 


4. Which is the best environment for watching a movie?
Anywhere. I can watch movies with anyone, anywhere or for that matter alone. Even though I used to do it earlier,  I haven't watched a movie in theater all alone recently.


5. Unless you’re an omnivore ;P, which kind of movies would you rather avoid?
None. I watch them all. 


6. Which is the scariest horror movie you’ve ever seen? How did it affect you?
When I was a kid, I was scared of horror movies, even crappy hindi horror movies. But recently only the Japanese version of  "The Grudge" series could provide me with the chills. 

Behind the Wordages

Thanks to Shomoita for the tag, check out her excellent blog >> http://shomoita-dreamer.blogspot.com , after reading through mine.


1.  What encouraged you to create your own blog and write the very first meaningful blog post?


Well I found out that my blogging began on Sunday, January 16, 2005. I tried blogging out of curiosity. Just to try it out, and use the only decent skill I have i.e. writing, and since then I am trying to write the best blog post ever. The operative word here being "trying". Anyway my first post was barely meaningful, it was verging more towards ridiculous. Well things have not exactly looked up since then. I have seen many of my friends start blogging and then give up, some even deleted their blogs. I can't think of such a thing. After 6 years of posting, I am emotionally attached to my blog. Even though I don't blog regularly, I am not giving up on it. As long as www.blogger.com exists, this blog will survive. 


2.  Do you still have the same old reasons to blog or something new added up?  


Reasons are still the same. Just to write stuff. Of course, "stuff" doesn't equal literary genius.  And this stuff has evolved over the years, but it hasn't taken any concrete form. 


Well that's enough of introspection. Thanks for reading, and hopefully I will post more regularly thanks to inspiration from all of my dear readers.

Fussy eater - 1

I am not a person who has too many likes and dislikes in terms of food. At least when I am not home, I am not much fussy. But at home, I tend to nitpick things about food a bit too much at times.

For example, when having a "bhakari"(Indian bread or roti made of either rice, jowar, bajra), only a certain types of veggies/curries go with it. Any kind of leafy vegetable cooked with chilly and onions is better than a curry of large pulses like blackgram etc.

And on the other hand, while having "chapati"(thin Indian bread made of wheat), pulses curries or dry veggies are better.

Having pulan-pori (Chapati with sweet filling) standalone is not a great idea, toping it up with ghee makes it easier, but its better to have it with a spicy curry to offset the sweetness.

And tomatoes are not my exact favorite if they are sour. I know tomatoes are supposed to be a bi tangy, but a bit too much sour puts me off anything.

I think cup cakes and for that matter biscuits are not meant to be eaten dry, as they don't go down the throat smoothly, its always better to dunk them in hot tea of milk.

But then in that case, such a cup of tea or milk should have less sugar in it or else it becomes a over sweet concoction. Give me a plain glass of milk over a sugared one any day, unless you have added childhood favorites like Horlicks.

I have never come around to liking coffee, filter coffee is drinkable, but tea always overrules the caffeine kick.

But then even a spicy pani-puri( a spicy snack) can give a good enough kick. As long as they don't ruin it with too much ragda/boondi (filling used) .. or make the cardinal sin of watery tasting "paani" that is just salty not tasty.

But then one can only enjoy "paani-puri" after snacking on either "sev-puri or bhel-puri". This applies only when you are hungry, but then if you are not, then why are you having anything at all. Because if your hunger is taken care of, you can enjoy "paani-puri" just for the taste attack.

And this is just the beginning of the fussy tale of eating habits.

p.s. please pardon the typo errors

The suspicious neighbor

voice1: I can't see anything.
voice2: look again
v1: really..I can't ... wait! I can see movement..
v2: See I told you..what do you see ?
v1: This is not good, it is quite big!
v2: How big?
v1: Come on! I can't measure with my eyes..
v2: Is is still there?
v1: Its still at the door.
v2: so what do you think?
v1: can't really guess the motive..but you know how bad I am at judging.
v2: that is true
v1: "sigh of relief" ......the rat is gone !
v2: my nerves have been calmed by this news
v1: So we are safe for now..
v2: for now...don't know for how long..

At peace, he sits down staring at photo frames of friends and relatives.
Breeze blew in through a half open window rustling a pile of newspapers.

He places a large knife on the pile. Picks up a dart and throws with fury on dart board to his left side, all the while screaming

"Why wasn't I alert at that time"

A cuckoo flutters into the window, eyes fixed on its beauty, he mutters.
"Birds always fascinated him, they still do."

Suddenly he gets up. mumbles to self: "Stay focussed"

Goes across the room, flicks on his TV, and runs a DVD.

He stares at the screen as the speakers blurt out a news report.

Car bomb blast kills 50, injures 90.
Suspected bomber found dead at blast site.

A family of five whose car was closest to the terror car coincidently were later identified as neighbors of the suspected terrorist who was living in a leased flat next door.

Tears drop down from his eyes..."Only if I had...."

The Catcher in the Rye ; book review

It requires special patience to read this book. Not that this book is bad, but at times it seems too depressing.

But nevertheless its a well written book. The book is written in a narrative style, the narrator is the lead himself. Not only do we get a insight into his personality, but also he explains his likes and dislikes with sufficient reasons.

Beauty of the narration is that when you feel you have really understood him, he comes around with thoughts that will stump you.

The end is the really beauty of this book, and the reason why I liked it. Not that I would have found it hard to like him, as a part of me identifies with him for his style of thinking.

You will dislike parts of his personality or his behavior. But that is also the reason why this book is so good. You like him, and dislike him in equal parts. And its one good ride into his world, as long as you can tolerate his negativity.

Give it a try, its unusual book, you may just like it.

Trivia-

Adam Gopnik considers it one of the "three perfect books" in American literature, along with Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Great Gatsby, and believes that "no book has ever captured a city better than Catcher in the Rye captured New York in the fifties."

Mark David Chapman murdered former Beatles member John Lennon due to obsession with Catcher in the Rye. Chapman remained at the scene, took out his copy of The Catcher in the Rye and read it until the police arrived. Chapman stated, "I’m sure the large part of me is Holden Caulfield, who is the main person in the book. The small part of me must be the Devil.

Stanley and his chillar party

No its not any new movie. It just combines two movies that were recently released. One was "Stanley ka dabba" and other one "Chillar Party".

While the first one is more of a real movie without entertaining songs ,while the later is more fictional yet it is very good.

The best part about both the movies is that scenes with kids in it felt written for kids. The dialogues were not sermons written by adults for kids. They were short and to the point told in a kids style.

Child actors acted in such an authentic way that it reminded me of my childhood days.

Both movies deserve applause as they entertain, have a message, sufficient plot, excellent acting, and nearly authentic setup. And more than anything they don't really on star power, marketing gimmicks, item songs, or special effects.

Yet they could do much better, something that portrays a kids imagination gone wild, etc.

Nevertheless a good start.