mockery

my emotions are being baked

in the fire of our arguments

we mostly avoid being honest

as it just leads to harsh reaction

we try to smile for everyone 

and keep busy to forget hollowness

and when comes the occasional ray of light

we dance around it to celebrate another day of life

Dying

what do you call someone who is dying
but that someone doesnt want to die
to live longer than anyone has ever
but the rot in his body is incurable

maybe the waves of time have eroded
scrapped away the good bits
and leaving just ugliness and lifelessness
this rot left behind is overpowering

there is not way out when its dark
and the long claws of eventuality
feel like creeping closer every moment
probability is just a word not used anymore

strewn around are discarded powerless words
hope miracle magic prayer left lying in dust
with blessings crumpled in a corner
as the dust bin of empathy and sympathy overflows

don't mistake it for deathbed rambling
that cliche has long been lost
this walking alive zombie wouldn't look amiss
in the scramble for shangrila of happiness

what do you call someone who cant filter
cant deduce cant realize cant live
yet is afraid to die and be free
from a life that just oozes pain

<......Aging struggles.....>

Sight of the first grey,,,,

Is that a wrinkle you say....

But I still feel sharp,,,,

Sometimes I forget don't snark....

I do wish to have it back,,,,

But thing I lost has no map....

Furiously they hit me them waves,,,,

A fusion of guilt and regret....

My mind tries to bring sanity,,,,

Isn't recollecting good memories just vanity....

Nothing new am used to chaotic mind,,,,

Its my depleting youth that has me in a bind....

I crave the youthful days,,,,

When time and energy I had to spare....

Did nothing back then in laziness,,,,

Felt I had whole life left...

---------

In the corner of your mind

it seems vague

life as it shapes

rising to occasion

without any concession

not the easiest job

makes mess of thoughts

hard to decide the "rights"

"wrongs" come with ease

running away isn't choice

suicide isn't really bright

you don't seek perfection

neither have selfish intentions

you visualize only darkness

unusual dread sets in

optimist inside you is no more

pessimist completes takeover

still a flame flickers somewhere

but is blown away soon

it may not seem as bad

but it keeps getting worse

you keep straight face

slap on a smile for heck

as you try to hide it

somewhere in the corner of your mind