fear

i constantly kept looking over my shoulder,

i had to do something quick no time to ponder.

the moon had sneaked behind a black veil,

to make it worse just needed a deafning wail.

uncomfortable chill in the air yet I was sweating,

already sprung hair on neck were warning,

fear snaking up around my mind with undefined horrors.

crumpled at corner the paper in my hand,

the source of my whole paranoia.

trembling hands lifted and dropped the paper,

already imagining the grimace I just wilted.

my father looked at the grade report,

and all that he said was ..

"Kaartyaa!! Naapass jhalas!! " (rascal, you failed)

lunatic

i am feeling a bit down,

but I am not chasing a frown.

Maybe there is another outlook,

but it all seems covered in soot.

I was witness to the purge,

to put out the fire I had no urge.

maybe I did the start the fire,

and let all her memories burn.

Closure in flames I seek,

got nothing but relapse.

Maybe Maybe maybe I am a coward,

shining shining shining is my head.

As the moon shines on my head,

and soon people will call me a lunatic.

life

can it really help not sure about it

some say it heals bit by bit

the aching of heart is softened

longing of mind is shortened

does a dream really is the answer

to mind that is really fragile

chaos of colliding thoughts

trouble my hapless mind

heart weighs in its own agenda

putting my body through painful grind

had to drag me feet to the bed

nothing happens even with eyes closed

staring at meaningless shadows with despair

hoping something would bring an end

maybe I am dreaming it yet not believing

maybe its so lucid whatever I am dreaming

feels so vivid so real that it hurts

maybe someone can wake me up with nudge

is there a totem like they said in stories

that helps us tell apart whats unreal

I close my eyes, touch my cheeks

tears are still there and my heart beats weak

yes I am still living not dreaming

the nightmare that I call my life

Regression

i flutter on the two edges of a sharp blade

wherever I touch it will just be another nick

but do I learn from my own ways

destructively I move along is it ignorance or recklessness

belly full of lies I carry them hidden behind a veil

charade I play will maybe be guessed by somebody

surely it will shake me from my complacent slumber

and yet I will regress back to what I am inside